The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
