I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
smell my finger.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
