You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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