god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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