did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
