I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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