what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
