he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
