I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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