I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
