How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
