Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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