I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
