i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
