I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
