if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you would pick up someone in the library
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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