turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
