how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
