not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
