You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
