I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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