Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
