So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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