It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
