just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
