I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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