It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize