We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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