but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
