we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
