My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
