he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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