i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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