i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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