i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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