I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize