Screwed.edu
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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