the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize