after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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