Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
