Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
