do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
