well most of my day revolves around power hour
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
