so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
