speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize