I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
