One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
barbara walters just said penis...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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