my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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