the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
