yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Randomize
