ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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