member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
