All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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