My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
