What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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