I showed him my bush... on skype.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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