You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
