My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
