You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
