Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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