Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i think i just lost a toe
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
